He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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