i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
