Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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