I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
