I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
