You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
barbara walters just said penis...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
