let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
