Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
