I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
