you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
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