apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
