My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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