I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
