Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
