I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
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I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
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You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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