She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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