I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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