Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
