So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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