K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
