I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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