just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
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