Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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