I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
