Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
