We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
