Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
