covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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