your room smells of hookers.
And success
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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