Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The uberlube is also flammable
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
