wanna go halves on a baby?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
