You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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