I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
