totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
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i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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