i would punch a child for taco bell
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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