am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
organizing the empties. That sober.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
