We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
