Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
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if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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