She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
