Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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