her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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