with your own penis?
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
