Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i believe in u and ur pee
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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