one might say we're banned from that church
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We left the knife in your bed.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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