If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
