no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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