But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
