Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
either way he was missing a nipple.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
