Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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