if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
