my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
