Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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