my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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