Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
