Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
