I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
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I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
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It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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