Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
